Learning how to be alright with being alone has been a real journey for me. I’ve always considered myself someone who likes being alone—but only when I wanted to be, and only for exactly as long as I chose. When I was drinking, this was easy to manage. I didn’t care who I was with as long as they wanted to drink with me, and when I was alone, I was fine because—surprise—I was drinking then, too.

But getting sober changed everything. Those first few months, even up to the full first year, being alone felt… uncomfortable. Loud. Uneasy. Still, something unexpected happened along the way: being alone slowly got easier as I settled into the freedom of not having constant cravings. I truly thought I had reached a point where I was fully comfortable with myself.

Then someone pointed out just how many screens and sounds I kept around when I was “alone.” The TV, music from my phone, TikTok, Instagram, a workout video—sometimes even schoolwork became a distraction from the empty space of simply being with myself.

That’s when I finally understood the difference between being alone and actually sitting with yourself.

I could handle being alone. In fact, I was starting to prefer it. But sitting in genuine quiet? Being content with my own thoughts, without trying to detach from my own body? That felt like too much.

And honestly, it’s still something I’m working on. It is incredibly hard to turn off all the noise and just be with yourself. But meditation—without an app this time—along with journaling, taking silent walks, long baths, breathwork, and even saying positive affirmations in the mirror (as cheesy as it sounds) has helped me reconnect with myself. These little practices have made it easier to be with myself without needing to escape my own body.

It’s a work in progress, but it’s becoming a kinder, quieter one.